As some of you may know, I'm a mom to a (almost) two year old little girl. Just like any good parent, I'm extremely interested in her development and progress as she grows. So far, I've been incredibly lucky to have a child that seems to be a little ahead of the curve in many aspects- and it's not because I'm supermom. It's because my daughter has always shown extreme desire and ability to learn quickly and often times independently. As her parent (and this goes for dad too), we do a bit of 1 on 1 with her, but not an excessive amount. She knows the entire alphabet inside and out, and most of her numbers from 1 to 10. She recognizes simple words, remembers parts of her books, uses simple sentences to express what she wants, knows what makes others laugh, pretends to hold adult conversations by standing near you and babbling away as she nods her head in agreement (so friggin cute), pretends to do multiple-step tasks with her toys, is extremely attached to Grandma even though she doesn't see her as often as she used to, and so on. I mean, I could go on all day.
In fact, today I googled "Toddlers and Autism" because yesterday I was checking out normal two year old behavior since our daughter is turning two in a week or so. There was a link to a
page about Autism, which I ignored then, but decided to check out today. This list made me laugh.
Below is list of the other concerns noted during daily routines in young children with autism spectrum disorder. This is not an official diagnostic list, but rather a list of concerns that parents might note. This list was gathered from several sources.
I want to go through this list with you, to show you how ridiculous it is.
1.)
Does not consistently respond to his/her name. Hello. Do I always respond consistently to my own name? Nope, not when I'm really focused on something else or I just don't hear you.
2.) C
annot tell you what he/she wants with words or gestures. I just took a college level course on Communication last semester. Professional adults rarely get across what they want with verbal and/or non-verbals properly, what makes you think a toddler can do this? Maybe it's the person on the recieving end that can't understand you or the toddler? Think about it.
3.)
Doesn’t follow directions. Toddlers + following directions = lmfao. That's part of what makes toddlers so darn charming. My daughter can follow very simple directions, but when I say "very simple", I can't express to you enough how simple they must be. It's normal.
4.)
Seems to be deaf at times. So does my husband. I better get him evaluated for Autism.
5.)
Seems to hear sometimes, but not others. Ditto.
6.)
Doesn’t point or wave bye-bye (past 15 months) or use other gestures such as shaking his head “yes” or “no” appropriately and back and forth in conversation. Now, doesn't this seem a little on the RIDICULOUS side? Maybe a kid isn't doing THIS particular little nuance when you say they should, but in it's place they're giving "high fives" and kissing and hugging at appropriate times? Everyone's different, and that definately applies to kids.
7.)
Used to say a few words or babble, but now he/she doesn’t. This is probably the only one that would concern me. Kids should be adding, moving forward with their vocabulary. Luckily, my daughter hasn't done this.
8.)
Throws intense or violent tantrums. Toddlers feel emotions on a very grand scale, and to expect their brand new brains, which are incapable of deep rational thought to cope with them in a controlled manner is a little over the top. There's probably a limit, but I've never seen, heard, or experienced anything completely out of control before myself. Tantrums are annoying, but they're normal and healthy.
9.)
Has odd movement patterns such as flapping arms or shaking body, especially when excited. Now, where'd this tid-bit of wisdom come from? I'm still researching this one, but can't find anything on it. Anyone care to elaborate? I thought we all had little routines when we're extremely excited...how do you expect a two year old to express their excitement?
10.)
Shows other odd visual behaviors such as staring repeatedly at spinning wheels on a toy or shifting his eyes to the side as he runs. My doctor told me that engaged children are fascinated by how things move and interact, and that includes their own bodies. This seems quirky, but completely normal and adorable. Sheesh.
11.)
Seems hyperactive much of the time; is always “on the go.” I can remember when I was ten years old, and some old man telling me, "You'll run out of that energy some day!" and I told him, "NEVER! I'll always feel this good!". Well, I've run out of that energy, but I was a healthy kid, and healthy kids have tons of energy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, which would also begin my ADHD rant, but I'll leave that for another post.
12.)
Is often uncooperative or oppositional during daily routines. Toddlers are irrational biengs. It's normal.
13.)
Doesn’t know how to play with toys. Might spin or line them up excessively. Oh good god. Okay, first of all, when you get a new board game, you have to read the instructions or be taught how to play it, right? A new card game? Imagine if the whole world was brand new to you every day, and you came across a toy you've never seen before. Also, healthy kids like to figure out how things work and move, as I stated above. Oh, one more thing- Toddlers that line things up obsessively might seem like OCD to some adults, but it's actually totally healthy and normal. Toddlers love predictibility, they like order believe it or not. It's just how their brains are developing and growing at this age.
14.)
Doesn’t smile when smiled at. Toddlers don't know how to flash smiles that aren't genuine. If they don't feel like smiling, they won't.
15.)
Doesn’t make eye contact. He/she seems to look right through/past you. I think this is one of those subjective, overthought things that over-the-top parents see when they're already convinced their toddler has Autism. I've met a LOT of toddlers, and every one of them (even some with obvious mental disability) look at you with big, beautiful eyes- just as you look at them.
16.)
Gets “stuck” on things over and over and can’t move on to other things. I do this. I better get checked. I think it's called "tenacity".
17.)
Seems to prefer to play alone. Other than not having developed social skills fully at this age, there are times when everyone wants to be left alone.
18.)
Gets things for him/herself only without asking for help. Hello! Self-reliance! It's healthy and welcomed!
19.)
Is very independent for his/her age. What the heck does this mean? That a normal kid is always going to be clingly and completely dependent, like an infant, for it's entire life?
20.)
Seems to be in his/her “own world.” If your toddler is showing signs of imagination, more power to you and your advanced kiddo!
21.)
Seems to tune people out. Oops, another sign I might have Autism.
22.)
Shows very little interest in other children. Once again, toddlers haven't completely developed social skills. Totally normal and healthy. Big whoop.
23.)
Or may interact inappropriately with other children. There's limits to this, but I think most of this is subjective again. I mean, as compared to what? Kids have disputes, kids disagree. Kids also grow attached to eachother and make good friends. Why? Who knows. They're kids.
24.)
Walks on his/her toes. My daughter does this while dancing. Also falls under "toddlers are curious about how their bodies work" category again.
25.)
Shows unusual attachments to toys, objects, or schedules (i.e., always holding a string or having to put socks on before pants). What's considered unusual? I just read elsewhere that toddlers with "Loveys" (favorite dolls, stuffed animals, blankets, and so on) are very common and that it's totally normal. Also, remember that toddlers thrive on predictablity and routine. If you normally put socks on before pants, you better do it that way every time, or your toddler is guaranteed to notice the difference and feel out of place. Once again, totally normal.
26.)
Spends a lot of time lining things up or putting things in a certain order and gets upset if this is disrupted. Ditto. How the brain works at this age. Getting redundant.
27.)
Has delayed speech-language skills when compared to other children of the same age. Each child is different. The other day at the playground, we met a two year old boy that could climb up the big playground toys, slide down the slides, get on a swing, run super fast and so on, all by himself. But when I spoke to his mom, she said that he's always been physically gifted, but he still wasn't talking much. In contrast, our daughter needs one of us with her when going up big obstacles or sliding down slides- she's also deathly afraid of swings, but she uses sentences and reads simple words, not to mention she's got a huge vocabulary. Both kids are healthy, just different.
28.)
Memorizes and quotes long scripts of favorite TV shows, sing entire songs, or label lots of objects, but he/she uses very few “real” or meaningful words to ask for things or participate in conversation. This is something I've never seen, but I have had experience working with someone with Autism- an adult, and it was extreme. He was unable to experience emotion and unsaid gestures the same way regular people experienced them- but he learned the motions and used these motions to get through every day life. He also had an incredible, astounding memory for things that we'd never be able to remember. This is because normal people tend to remember highly emotional experiences and forget things that aren't (I can explain this in another blog post too, very fascinating). He remembered things like, what color shirt I was wearing on a particular day last month, or what he had for breakfast three days ago.
29.)
Repeats what he/she hears rather than using words on his own. Um, maybe...but I have to assume that since kids use their parents as models, that this is normal.
30.)
Learns to read at age 2 or 3 (or has a very strong interest in visual symbols such as letters and numbers), but has difficulty communicating with others in a meaningful way. This goes along with the topic above (number 28), but I think we also need to remember that some kids are going to do things faster than the norm too.
31.)
Is a very picky eater. May eat only 3 or 4 different foods. My husband still likes three or four foods only- meat, potatoes, and corn. Means nothing.
The article goes on to say that these might not all mean your kid has Autism, but you should still get evaluated. Oh, wait, they're calling it a "spectrum" now too, which means there's degrees of Autsim that your child could potentially have. This leads me to wonder if people are trying to place a label, move blame for their child being different than the others onto something else. I know that some parents see "different" as "sick", and while I think this is completely insane, I also know that it usually stems from a lack of education and ability to accept what you can't control- therefore you can't exactly blame the parents for feeling the way they do.
This also extends to our educators, who seem to be way too happy to medicate and overreact. I'm beginning to think that many of them don't have the child's interest in mind, but their own. Their inability to put fourth the effort in working with healthy kids that are more of a challenge is upsetting, but this is also for another blog post.
More reading on Autism, read the comments on these articles and posts from other parents:
MSNBCShortnewsAutism is the new Gay?Just a little note- always read with a grain of salt. But google it for yourself. Read what people have to say that are "pro-diagnosis" and ones who aren't. Using common sense, what sounds more rational? As a parent, what seems out of place? Check out the figures on mild Autism diagnoses, what do you think? Better testing? More interest? Maybe, but even the numbers outweigh that argument.
This reminds me of a child I saw on animal planet during an episode of Cats101 (My daughter's favorite show, next to Calliou). A mother bought three cats of a certain breed to keep her "Autistic" child company. When showing the child playing with the cats and being interviewed, he looked, sounded, and acted like a normal child for his age. Of course, I compared him to the person with Autism I worked with a few years ago. The man I worked with had facial features that were different, spoke in a cadence that was far different, had no emotional ability, and other abilites that set him apart from normal people. That's how I view Autism, and always will- as a REAL condition, and not a label for a child progressing differently than other children.
Scanning JUSTOR, it's obvious to me that a lot of work and studies are being done on Autism, which leads me to believe that we know enough about the condition to be able to diagnose it properly. So, what's with "mild" Autism anyway? Where'd it come from, why is there a spectrum? Maybe someone can answer that for me.
In the mean time, have faith in your children. Be proud that they have gifts, relish in their learning and growing, and take pride in them. Most kids don't need 25 hours a week of scheduled therapy. Most kids don't need medications or labels. They don't need to fit in to a norm that obviously barely exists.
